Day Six - Candle Light Vigil

Today was day six of the AIDS Life Cycle.  Our route was Lompoc to Ventura.  We were told it would be 85 miles, but I hear we actually road 90 plus miles.  Don’t know if that is true or not.  At times it felt it.

I did ride today and I did finish.  Yolanda and I headed out at 7:15a.m. this morning and rolled into Ventura at 6:15p.m.  We traveled along some of the most beautiful areas and saw some pretty amazing sites.

However, I don’t really want to write about the ride this evening.  Instead I want to tell you about the candle light vigil that took place this evening.  The candle light vigil is to honor those we’ve lost to AIDS.   I’ve heard about it and saw pictures of it from last year’s ride, but the pictures don’t really do it justice.  You have to see it to believe it.

Around 8:30p.m. all 2500 riders, roadies, staff, and visiting loved ones formed a procession and walked out to the beach, just a few feet from our camp.  Each person was holding a lit candle.  No words were needed as we formed a huge circle on the beach.

It took some time for the circle to form which actually consisted of several rows of people.  So picture a circle within a circle.  The glow of the candles was enough to light the way, but green glow sticks were strung out along the path.  The glow of the candles and the green glow sticks was a beautiful sight.

No words were needed as people stood or sat on the beach and took time to remember there loved ones.  So I sat with my friends James, Gayla, Kelly, and my sister Yolanda.  I thought of Chris.  I remembered when we were younger and we would play what ever game his imagination came up with.  I remembered the times when my other sister Teresa and I would be Chris’ back up singers as he belted out songs.  I remembered all the times he was there for me and how much he meant to me.  As I sat there in the sand next to my friends and family I remembered all the times he wasn’t there because he died of AIDS.

A few tears came, but no real crying.  I just sat there looking at the flame from my candle flicker around from the wind.  I could hear the waves from the ocean as they came up on shore and the wind was surprisingly calm.  Remotely I could hear the soft sniffles others made as they too mourned the loss of their loved ones.  Eventually, one by one we stood up to take our candle to the water’s edge and dowse the flame.

The waves were rolling in and as they caressed the shore people would place the candle in the water.  I stood there with my candle for many minutes just watching the waves roll in and out.  Both Chris and I loved the beach, to watch the waves roaring in.  So as I stood there gazing out into the distance the memories started crashing around me much like the waves.  I bend down to dowse the flame of my candle and it wouldn’t go out.  I laughed and as I looked up to the sky said…”you just don’t want to go out, do you.”  As I tried again, the tears really started.  I’m more of a silent crier so I doubt anyone knew.  But as I finally put out the flame my shoes got wet in the process and I started to laugh.  Kelly was near me and she laughed as well.  As she hugged me the tears really started and I just held on.   It took a few moments to compose myself, but when I was able to talk I said…”it just never gets easier.”  The tears started again and Kelly once again held me.  Eventually I was able to compose myself again.  As we walked back with the others, Kelly’s arm around me she told me she could see this was going to become a new tradition for us.  I heartily agreed.

Yolanda still had her candle lit and decided she wanted to sit on the beach until the flame went out on its own.  I decided to sit with her as well.  We sat on the beach for awhile.  At first no words were spoken.  We were both in our own thoughts, dealing with our grief in our own way.  Eventually, Yolanda asked me to tell her about my favorite memory of Chris.  I told her my favorite memory was when he took me out to my first bar.  It was a gay bar and as we stood around playing pool a girl started chatting with me.  I remember Chris coming over and gently pulling me away and telling the girl I was unavailable.  I didn’t know much back then and didn’t realize the girl was trying to pick me up.  I remember laughing as Chris had to explain it to me.  I thought she was just being nice.

I miss my brother, but by riding with the ALC, by sharing stories of my brother, and becoming part of this incredible community I feel I got a part of him back.

Tomorrow is our final day.  We will be traveling 65 miles to reach Los Angeles.  So this will be my final blog.  I can’t tell you how much this has meant to me.  The comments I’ve received to my posts have meant more to me than I can say.  The words of encouragement and support I’ve gotten have giving me the energy to keep pushing my pedals when I felt I couldn’t.  So thank you, from the bottom, the sides, and the top of my heart.

I can’t wait until I roll into LA.

Day Five - Red Dress Day

Today was day 5 of the AIDS Life Cycle ride.   For ordinary people that may not mean much, but for the people of the ALC it means only one thing, RED DRESS DAY!!

Red Dress Day originally started as Dress in Red Day.  Some say that as the riders go through this one particular overpass it forms the AIDS Ribbon, hence dress in red.  Much like the Theory of Evolution, this day evolved into Red Dress Day.  And what a day it was.

I was so tired from the previous evening that I slept in until 5:30a.m.  Yes, that is sleeping in.  My sister, Yolanda and I once up quickly went to breakfast where I needed a sugar fix.  I loaded up my oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins and my decaf coffee was loaded with flavored creamer and sugar as well.  Other breakfast items included scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, a muffin, and grapes.  I sampled all items today.  However, oatmeal remains my all time favorite breakfast item before riding.

Yolanda found out the effect sugar has on me as I started talking non-stop about our day ahead.  She looked at me like I had morphed into a 12-year old high on ding-dings.  Sugar has that affect on me.  Ah well, it was needed.  Yesterday was rough.  I was tired and could barely form a cohesive thought. 

As we sat in the dinning tent, chatting with other riders, morning stretching started.  I quickly jumped up and told Yolanda we should stretch.  As the music started the instructor led us through a variety of stretches and warm-ups to get us ready for the day.  And was it ever needed.  It got extremely cold last night and when I say cold I mean iceburg cold, Mt. Everest cold, "when hell freezes over cold".   So when the day dawned I had to put on two fleece jackets as I was shaking from the cold.  One rider, who has done the ride before, said this was the coldest morning he could ever remember.  Great, why did it have to be on my first ALC ride.  Damn global warming!

Sorry to digress, back to me...oh I mean Red Dress Day.  Once I started waking up the sight before me was simply amazing.  Besides the sea of blue tents I'm now use to seeing I saw a sea of red.  As riders emerged from their tents all manners of red dresses were in use.  There was a group of minnie mouses, cow girls, dominatrix’s, Sunday church going frocks, dresses made of duct tape, fringes, tassels, sequins, spandex, lace, and tons of boas.  Oh and let us not forget the fake boobs.   Sizes varied as did the material used to shape them and let me tell you….some of them looked better than mine.  Hard to believe, but true nonetheless.

Since it was a short ride day, a mere 40 plus miles, I had the leisure of not pushing it too much.  Rest stop one was only 9 miles out.  It seemed I arrived all too quickly but it was a welcome sight.  And what a sight it was.  Again, a sea of red greeted me.  I quickly dismounted to try and find my sister, who insists she is too old for this, but who has been kicking my butt on this ride almost from day one.  Trying to find one person in red amongst a throng of people dressed in red is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.  So I milled around a bit, taking pictures, and just gawking at the mutitude of costumes.  People are so creative.  You have to see it to believe it.  And yes I was in red as was Rayne.  She had on the cutest little red dress with white hearts.  So cute.

In case you’ve been wondering, we have been traveling up the coast line to reach LA so most of our rides take us through beach areas and dusty farmlands.  This particular stop was dusty, pretty much like all the rest, couple that with the gale like winds that have greeted us and you have one dirty, dusty girl.

Did I also mention the amount of hill climbing we had to do today?  We heard about Quad Buster (busted that), we heard about the Evil Twins (not so evil), we even took on Pismo Bitch (smacked the bitch down) but not once did I hear about the hills we were to hit on Day 5.  Not one word from my Cycle Buddy, did evil Ben ever say anything about it…nope.  So when the day started and route sheets handed out as we maneuvered our way out of bike parking I only knew it was a short ride day.  I don’t know for sure how many hills we hit today, but there had to have been at least three major climbs today, each worse than the other.  Two where clearing marked on the route sheet…climb begins, but oh my e’ffing god…the last one.  The last climb I can understand why ALC people would leave it off the sheet.  It went on and on and on and then it turned and kept going.  I didn’t think the winds we hit yesterday could get any worse, but I was wrong, dead wrong.  After the turn, the road curved up and the winds that hit me had me gripping for dear life.  I really had to keep Rayne in check as riders passed me.  Did I mention I’m really, really, really slow on hills?  Anyway, it was very nerve racking, but make it I did.  Today, as Lorri Jean, of the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, was making her nightly announcements she commented on this very hill and dubbed it “Oh My E’ffing God”.

Continuing on with the wind theme, my favorite part of any ride is descending a hill.  I love the feel of the wind as it surrounds me and the cold as it slaps me in the face.  It gives me a rush like no other and for a time I feel so incredibly live.  However, while this ride has had many opportunities for adrenaline rushing descents the wind has not been so friendly.  Oh don’t get me wrong it has been whipping and slapping, but the wind has been so fierce that Rayne (my bike) and I have been doing our very best just to stay upright.  Many times I’ve had to slow down to keep Rayne steady, while at the same time watching for pot holes, ruts, gravel and other obstacles that could sending me careening off the road or flipping over my handle bars.  It has been a challenge.

Rest stop two brought us to the little town of Casmalia.  If you’ve ever seen To Wong Foo, Thanks for Every Thing, Julie Newmar then you have an idea of what Casmalia is like.  The scene towards the end when the town is out in the dusty streets dancing in red is what I arrived to in Casmalia.  It was by far one of my most memorable moments.  I took a few minutes to dance amongst other riders as I snapped pictures.  I can hardly wait for next year’s ride.  I plan on dancing a little longer.

I think my day can be summed up by a conversation two riders where having behind me as we crused down the highway.  One guy asked the other... "how is your hosery holding up?  The other guy cyclist responded..."okay, I think I have a run though".  What could be better than that?!

Well, there isn’t much more to say about today.  Since it was a short ride, the entire ride seemed relaxing, as riders where not in too much of a hurry to get to camp and just milled about rest stops.  I had a great day, got to camp early enough that I could actually relax and spend time with fellow riders in the dinning tent listening to their ride stories, and camp announcements.  I even had two dinners.

Tomorrow is Day Six.  What is in store? Dunno.  All I know for sure is that we will be traveling 80 plus miles to Santa Barbara, spending one more night in camp, I will be wearing my Velo Girl pink jersey and praying my legs keep moving.

Side note:  I was so tired yesterday that I was unable to blog.  I could barely eat let lone talk or write.  So after forcing a few bites down and chatting with my Cycle Buddy I went right to bed.  I promise I'll write a post on Day Four.  It was a long ride, but a good one.

Day Three - The Quad Has Been Busted

Quad Buster! Quad Buster! Quad Buster!

Quad Buster be damned!  Today we took on the infamous Quad Buster and I climbed every e’ffing inch of that damn hill and I lived to write about it.

Annette! Annette! Annette! That is going to be the new chant from now on.  Don’t get me wrong, Quad Buster was pretty gruesome, but I’ve been on many of Evil Ben’s training rides in San Francisco.  So I was ready to take on the beastie that has been plaguing my dreams since I first signed up for the AIDS Life Cycle.

Okay, lets back up a bit and start from the beginning.  The morning dawned and we were up by 5a.m.  My very ambitious plan of waking at 4:30 was not to be as I didn’t get to bed until 11:00pm.  You know the blogging gig tends to consume my time after riding.

Eating was hard this morning as my tummy was acting up.  I did eat my oatmeal and part of my pancake, but that was about all I could take.  So I was feeling a bit ill as we rolled out at 7:30a.m.  That is a whole lot earlier than my 8:30 roll out time the previous day.  However, as Yolanda and I hit the rolling hills that took us to rest stop one my tummy was feeling better.

Rest stop one was a western theme but that is really about all I remember about it.  Quad Buster loomed before us so the goings on of a rest stop meant little to me.  I wasn’t nervous or scared….I was just anticipating the climb.  I briefly ran into Kelly and Gayla who had been there for a bit.  We refilled our water bottles, but Yolanda was still getting snacks so Kelly and Gayla headed out.  I also ran into Michael Fantasia who quickly filled me in on what was to come.  Michael has been my climbing angel almost from the moment I started doing the CAT 2 training rides in San Francisco.  So I knew what to do.  I started the mile long approach and about half way there everything started going slow mo….the incline was beginning but it was so subtle that it was hard to tell.  If I didn’t know better I would think I was just pedaling slowly because I was so e’ffing tired.

I started shifting gears and working my way up the hill.  I took a moment to look around.  I didn’t know if this would be the last thing I saw or not.  It was very gray out…almost like the gray you see before a storm hits.  The landscape was mountainous on both sides and very green.  There was nothing out there, a very desolate feeling.  Should I have taken this as a sign to my pending doom?  Hell no….I love gloomy days so I was happy to be on the road…okay maybe not happy.  I have been riding for the past two days so there are parts of me that are sore that really shouldn’t be sore….well at least not from riding.  Anyway, the actual climb started.  As you approach Quad Buster it looks very long and turns a bit to the left and with the lighting from the sky it looked quit ominous.  I just took my time and worked the grannies like no tomorrow.  There were times when I was barely hitting 2mph.  I just kept cranking away.  At one point I passed my sister who was ahead of me.  I asked if she was okay.  She said yes and then told me to keep going.  So I did.  I wasn’t about to stop anyway…well not unless I saw blood.  There is one section that a lot of riders stop at, but I knew thanks to Michael that the top was near.  I could hear him….don’t stop, you’re almost there.  I also heard other riders saying…don’t stop, keep going.  So I pushed for it.  Other riders were passing me, some offering words of encouragement, but by far the best was the rider who carries her megaphone and ipod with her.  She is a rider, but stops along the route to play music for others.  It was the best sound ever.  Almost there….I see Down Town Julie Brown, ringing her cow bell.  I also love that sound.  Julie usually stands at the top of White’s Hill in Marin ringing her cow bell and cheering riders up when we are doing our training rides.  It was great.  Finally!! I reached the top and it was the best damn feeling ever.  My legs were tired from the previous day’s rides and now we had just Busted the Quad.  I was hooting and hollering, pumping my fist in the area and then I got off Rayne to cheer on other riders.  It was the most amazing feeling.  What was even more amazing was the riders who would reach the top and then race back down the way they came to ride back up and cheer other riders up.  That is just so crazy!! 

The descent down was incredible.  The hill itself was not very long, but the momentum was enough that I was hitting 25mph on the straight aways.   As I was flying down the hill I started crying.  I was thinking of Chris.  Just prior to the start of the climb I asked him to stay with me, to help me up this e’ffing hill and he did.  He never left me.  I was so busy thinking of my brother that I didn’t hear the semi behind me.  I don’t know what made me look behind but I quickly turned my head and saw the truck approaching in the opposite lane.  As I whipped my head back to the front Rayne started to swerve as we were on a rocky, gravely road but I was able to get Rayne under control.  I think I said fudge…well something close to that.   The rest of the ride to rest stop two was uneventful.

Next up was lunch in Bradley.  This was 42 miles into the ride.  I’ve heard that local elementary school uses this as a fundraiser.  So I was not surprised to see a long line of cyclists waiting to purchase hamburgers and hotdogs.  I found Yolanda and we quickly got in line.  The problem however was the line was so long and I was so hungry that I couldn’t wait to eat.  So Yolanda and I found the line for our normal lunch and sat under a tent to eat.  The sun was out and it was hot.  Bradley is a small kind of dusty town.  Since we were making good time we were able to relax and chat a bit with fellow riders.  However, we didn’t want to stay too long so we quickly filled our bottles and headed out.  As we were leaving I had the pleasure of being squirted with water guns. 

Back on it Yolanda and I made excellent time to rest stop 4 whose theme was Dream Girls.  I think this was by far my most favorite rest stop.  It was at the Mission San Miguel at mile 65.  There was plenty of shade and Jeanette, Yolanda and my friend, was there.  Jeanette volunteered as a medical roadie for the ride.  So we usually get to see her at rest stop 4.  I was really happy to see her this day because she gave me ibuprofen and some Ben Gay for my shoulder which was really bothering me.  She also provided lip balm for my very chapped lips.  I also got my picture taken with a couple of Dream Girls.

Rest stop 4 was only 14 miles from Camp 3 which is at the Paso Robles Fairgounds so Yolanda and I didn’t stick around too long.  We were trying to get in early so we could relax a bit.

The scenery to camp was again just amazing.  We where again heading into farm country and we had a bit of climbing to do as well, but when you would reach the top the view was e’ffing fantastic.  It was just row upon row of fields.  I was just blown away by the beauty before me.

While the scenery was soothing to my eyes the rollers were killing me.  My legs were now rock hard but they kept cranking those pedals like there was no tomorrow and before you know it I was rolling into Camp 3.

It’s always a great feeling to roll into camp.  There is always a little crowd gathered here and there along the path clapping and cheering you.  After a long day it is a great sight to see.  I was smiling the whole way in.

Well, tomorrow is Day 4 and it is going to be long.  We have about 96 miles to travel and will be facing the Evil Twins.  Ha, the Evil Twins have nothing over me and my sister Yolanda.  The Evil Twins should fear us.

Day Two - To Century or Not to Century.....

Today I road my heavy ass bike 105 miles.  Let me repeat that for you….I road Blood Rayne, a hybrid Trek bike that weighs 27lbs 105 miles.  It was a long, long, long, LOOOONG day.

The day started at about 4:30a.m.  Well actually about 3:30a.m. because that’s when I woke up.  I did manage to fall back asleep but then when 4:45a.m hit I was wide awake.  Since today was the long ride I figured it would be good to try and be on the rode by 6:00 or 6:30a.m.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, the joke was on me.  By the time we got dressed, ate, packed, took the tent apart, and got to bike parking it was 8:30a.m.

That meant we had to ride 105 miles by 7:00p.m.  It took us an hour to just get out of Santa Cruz.  Jeez just past the gate as we were leaving, one rider took a tumble and appeared to have a gash on her head.  Terrible…not really something any one wants to see as they ride out.

As we meandered through the streets of Santa Cruz, I just could not find my rhythm. I felt I was moving painfully slow, a big change from the previous day’s ride.  I guess I was paying the price for having such a great first day.  Oh well, I still had 103 miles to go. 

Skipping ahead, our first rest stop was blanketed in fog that we could barely see the ocean.  The weather was really crazy…even though it was foggy and dreary, it wasn’t terribly cold.  I don’t remember too much about the rest stop.  I mean a rest stop is just that, a spot to rest.  Okay, so this rest stop had one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and let me just say, she really knows how to rock black boots.  I was jealous.  However, the thing I remember the most about rest stop one was the heinous hill that waited for us as soon as we rolled out. 

Actually most of the day was like that…crappy little hills and crappy big ass hills.  Or in the case of the ALC they would probably refer to them as rollers.  Let’s just call it what it is….a hill.  All day I kept hearing how flat this ride was.  Ha, that was a joke.  Oh yes, there were parts that were flat, flat as a pancake, but no one bothered to mention the head winds.  I heard about tail winds, but head winds, not one word.  And let me just say when you are happily pedaling away and suddenly hit by a head wind that wants to take your tires out from under you….well its not a whole lot of fun.  There were many times when I was practically riding sideways.  At least that is how it felt. 

I don’t really remember rest stop two so let’s just skip ahead a bit…lunch was at a nice, windy little park.  Don’t remember the town, but I do remember the food.  I had a nice chicken sandwich on a ciabata , with chips, apple and a big fat cookie.  Yum!!  Okay anything would have tasted good after 45 miles.  While at the park I found Kelly, and Gayla so we chatted for a bit before they took off.  Again, that was how most of the day went.   Kelly and Gayla ahead, followed by Janet, my sister Yolanda and me trying to play catch up.  I guess I was paying the price for such an awesome ride my first day.

By this time the weather was sunny, the sky blue, and windy as hell.  Oh yeah I said that already, but I really can’t say that enough.

Anyway, Yolanda and I quickly headed out from lunch.  We still had 60 miles to go and time was ticking.  The route is only open for a certain amount of time and after a certain point the sweeps will pick you up.  I so was not going to SAG today.  This was my first century and I was damn well going to finish.  However, throughout the course of the ride I wondered when I would decide to end it and just SAG.  I was even trying to come up with names for SAG.  Sad Ass Girl was at the top of my list, as was Sassy Able Girl, Special Agent Girl, and finally Silly Attractive Girl.  But as you already know I did not SAG, but I’m still a Sassy Able Girl.

After lunch we hit a lot of flats and finally, finally the much talked about tail winds.  I was really cranking out some miles.  Gayla said she and Kelly did 23 miles in just over an hour.  My time was probably a bit more than that, but I was still flying.  At this point Rayne (yes I named my bike and yes she is named after a video game…Blood Rayne) and I were in perfect synch, as we plowed our way to the next rest stop whose theme was Super Heroes.  I don’t remember all the super heroes present, but Superman in his tighty blue undies certainly stood out (uh, not literally, okay maybe literally).  Rest stop three is also where a very kind roadie gave me a shoulder massage which saved my life as my shoulders and neck were starting to cramp up.  I didn’t stay too long though because it was windy as hell and dirt was blowing all over.

The ride at this point was still flat and still windy, but the scenery was just amazing.  There were several times when I would remember to look up and look around.  Some times I have no choice but to zone out, just so I can concentrate on my pedaling.  It’s a shame really because you miss out on a lot.  The countryside was absolutely amazing.  There were rows and rows of grapevines, artichokes, carrots, strawberries, and I’m sure a plethora of other veggies.  Just incredible.

In between rest stop three and rest stop four was a water stop.  This really summed up the ride for me.  Not because of the otter pops that awaited us, or the gaily dancing men in their bright tutus, but because of the mission that was there.  There is a small church there and I was told not to miss it.  So I made sure to stop.  Once there I got my otter pop, got a few pictures, then went into the church.  It was just a small space really, but at the front of the alter there was a white cloth laid out for riders to sign.  I went up, found a spot and told why I was riding.  I wrote about my brother Chris and how he tried to teach me not to be afraid of life.  I think he did a pretty good job of that.  I then took a moment to think about him and that is when the tears started.  Once I regrouped I took a few quick pictures and headed out.

We still had 30 miles to go, 15 miles to rest stop four and 15 to camp.  Rest stop four was a real quick stop as it was already closing by the time we got there.  We stopped to say hi to Jeanette, my sister Yolanda’s friend, took a few pictures, downed some aspirin, then road off.  15 more miles to go.

I was so afraid I was going to be forced to SAG that I thought perhaps I could hide from the SAG patrol and finish when no one was looking.  Crazy I know but these are the thoughts that pop into my mind when I’ve been on a narrow ass seat most of the day.

I really just tried to concentrate on my pedaling.  I’d zone out, look down and just watch my front tire spin or watch my pedals turning.  A few more e’ffing hills and really, really long flats later I was in the home stretch.  I thought for sure I was going to see an ALC one mile to go sign….some times I really hate those signs.  After riding all day it is like they are taunting me.  I also am starting to hate the following…”Almost there”, “Only a few more miles to go”, and my favorite “It is all downhill from here”.  Damn liars. 

Well I did it.  I completed my first century.  There were moments when I didn’t think I would.  There were times toward the end when I felt like this ride was the ALC’s way of breaking me down to build me back up.  It was tough, and rough and almost kicked my ass, but I kicked it instead.

Day One - E'ffing Amazing

E’ffing incredible, that is how my day went today.  Today was Day One of the AIDS Life Cycle ride and it was e’ffing incredible. 

Okay so maybe the morning didn’t start out so incredible, but that’s how it ended and I am completely on high right now….okay its more of a tired high, but a high nonetheless.

Let’s start from the beginning.  I didn’t get much sleep the night before….I had way too many things banging around in my head.  First, it was Orientation Day and boy was that rough.  It was just a day full of waiting in lines for registration, safety videos, tent assignments, pledges, etc.  By the end of the day I was tired, hungry, and a bit on edge.  So I went for a long walk to calm me down.

By the time I got back to the hotel I was not tired.  Neither was my sister, Yolanda.  I don’t know if it was excitement, fear or a combination of the two, but there we sat the night before we were to ride out on our 545 mile adventure watching CSI Miami, and cracking jokes.  We did manage to finally sleep for a bit, but it wasn’t long before that blasted wake up call roused us from our restless slumber.

Since we were staying at a hotel in San Francisco it didn’t take long for us to get to the Cow Palace (uh, does any one know why they call it the Cow Palace?)  We arrived around 5:00a.m. to a sea of people lugging…uh their luggage.  We quickly found our truck and dropped our stuff off.  We then went in search of food…bananas, bagels, and some sort of sweet bread.  There was other things but I wasn’t in the mood for food.  After that we went to check on our bikes where I ran into Cycle Buddy Jo, and my Cycle Buddy Kari.  They of course asked how I was, was I ready…yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.  I was nervous, and I don’t remember our entire conversation.  Next up was Opening Ceremonies.  For some reason as it started I was hit by a panic attack and went running in search of my CB again.  I found her back at bike parking where she asked me what was wrong.  I had no words to voice what was running through my head.  I don’t even think I know what was running through my head.  She asked if I was okay, I shook my head no.  She asked if I was scared, I shook my head yes.  She asked if I knew why, I could only shake my head no.  See, I had no words.  It was at this point I started crying and CB said some times it helps to cry.  I apologized for interrupting her because I knew she was busy, Kari just said it was okay.  She then said she saw me this far through the process she wasn’t about to leave me now.  She walked me back to opening ceremonies.  We arrived just in time for the presenting of the Riderless bike and for a moment of silence.  We all held hands and I thought of my brother Chris and how much I missed him.  But I didn’t cry, I felt a calm settle over me and I felt better.  I knew Chris was with me and I would be fine.

Soon it was time to roll….I was getting excited now, still a bit nervous, but mostly just excited.  I wanted to get on Blood Rayne and ride my little heart out.  As we went to get our bikes I ran into CB…smiled and said I’m good and with that we were off.

San Francisco at 7:00a.m.  I’m sure you know what the weather is like, so as we rolled out the day was chilly and foggy but I don’t think anyone was feeling it…there was so much excitement in the air nobody was really paying attention to the weather.  At least that’s how it seemed to me.  I had a huge smile on my face as I passed through a line of well wishers, cheering us on and as my friend Kelly said it felt like we were royalty.   It was truly an amazing feeling.

It wasn’t long before we were working our way through the streets of San Francisco and out to Skyline.  My sister, Yolanda, friends Kelly, Gayla, Janet and Kathryn were all in attendance as well.  We rode for the most part from the Cow Palace to Rest Stop 1, but as soon as we rolled out I felt this surge of power, I think it was the excitement in the air and I took off.  I felt good, I felt strong and I wanted to ride.  I can’t explain all the feelings that were coursing through my body.  All I can say is e’ffing amazing.  I think it was the weather as well.  I love foggy, glooming days and this is exactly what we were riding through.  It was a bit eerie as well as images would suddenly materialize right before us.  One minute nothing, the next a few riders along the rode fixing tires, stretching, or snapping pictures.  I loved it.

I’ll skip ahead a bit….I finally reached Skyline and the much feared new hill.  It was a long, long, long, long ass climb.  I can’t believe it was a nine mile climb and I was still excited.  At one point I did stop as I ran into TRL Sandra Toon, who was chatting with TRL Michale Fantasia.  Both of whom have helped me on many training rides.  It is because of them I was not afraid of the big climb ahead.  I didn’t want to stop too long so I quickly took off and before you know I was climbing.  It wasn’t a terrible climb, it wasn’t even terribly difficult.  It was just long.  I’m not sure how long the entire thing took, as there were rest stops along the way, but damn it seemed to just keep going and going, and going.  No worries, all of Evil Ben Armstrong’s training rides prepared me for this and I tackled it with no issues.  I just worked my grannies when I had to, and increased when I could, and too my surprise there where many times when I was able to click up a few times.

Finally, finally the down hill…Oh My E’ffing God, the down hill was just amazing.  A thing of beauty…I hit the descent like there was no tomorrow.  I thought the climb went on forever, but the down hill just wouldn’t end and I was in heaven.  Okay, I’m sure some riders were going a lot faster, but I was hitting 30mph on parts of it.  I felt so alive and the energy that was coursing through me just added to my peddling.  It was great. If there was one part of my ride to sum up my day it would be this descent.  It was just amazing…have I said that before?  E’ffing amazing!!!!

There were a few more rest stops along the way, but the best was lunch.  I’m not sure where we were as I don’t currently have my route sheet with me, but we were by a beach and any time I am near the ocean I am one happy girl.  The sun was out but it was still a little chilly.  I met up with Kelly and Gayla and we chatted a bit about the ride, but we all had one thing on the mind and that was food.  Lunch turned out to be a croissant turkey sandwich, chips, apple, and a big fat cookie.  Yum!!!!  I actually ate everything, which is so not like me.  I have a hard time eating while I’m riding, but today I was scarfing  my food down like there was no tomorrow.

The day pretty much was the same….a lot more climbing, a few descents, some flat lands and a couple more stops.  The one thing that was a constant was the beautiful scenery that greeted me at every turn.  We went from ocean, to lush rolling hills, back to ocean.  I was on sensory overload and loving every minute.

As I worked my way through Santa Cruz I came upon rest stop 4 which was like four miles out from camp.  My decision was short and sweet…I was so not stopping when camp was only 4 miles out.  I floored it and before you know it I was at camp, clapped in by a bunch of well wishers.

It was the most amazing day of my life.  It was the best ride of my life and I’m sure it is going to be the best experiencing of my life.  I still have six more days and I’m not sure what the future holds, but I plan on enjoying each minute as best I can.

About Annette

I decided to participate in AIDS Life Cycle 6 because my brother Chris passed away from AIDs in 1994.  I ride to honor him and the many others who have passed from this disease.

Participating in this ride has come to mean more to me than just riding my little bike.  It has changed me in ways I never would have expected.  I’m a bit more out going now, a bit more sure of myself, a bit more sassy (if you can believe that) and a bit lighter (about 50lbs lighter) than when I started.  I really wanted to give back but it seems I’ve gotten more out of this than I’ve given.

Armed with a Bachelor of Science from Sacramento State in Business Administration I pushed paper for a majority of my career, but my career path meandered down many roads before finally settling on the IT industry where my closet nerd finally emerged.  I currently work for a landscape architect as IT manager.  Between work and now riding I have time for little else but I love being outside.  I walk for an hour every day, hike, ride my little bike, play softball, camp, fish, walk my dogs and anything else I can get into.  I also love, love going to the movies, reading, weight lifting and general mayhem.