Day 7 and Closing Ceremonies

Please forgive me for not posting Day 6.  I was so exhausted I could not think.  I literally wrote one paragraph.  And as I sat at the keyboard I could not remember what I had done that day.  I could not remember the scenery I had passed or the road, I couldn't even remember what I had had for lunch.  So I went to lay down in my tent.  And next thing I knew it was 5:30am Day 7.  I felt bad that I had missed the candlelight vigil.  Matt made it - he said it was very moving.  He'd never been surrounded by so many people who were so quiet.  It just shows AIDS Life Cycle truly brings out the compassion and humanity in all.  One cause - One mission.

Day 7

Well like I said I woke up at 5:30am.  I was still very tired and my eyes felt like they were swollen shut.  Thank goodness for cold hands, I laid my cold finger across my tired, swollen eyes. Just hoping this would help.  I did not want to ride.  I was tired, weak, and sore.  As I found my way to the porta-potty, I was telling myself just one more day.  Exhausted I didn't want to eat, but I knew that if I was going to attempt to ride those last 67 miles, food was essential. 

David, Kevin and I made our way to the breakfast line. Everyone was exceptionally quite.  David and Kevin shared with me that they too were tired.  But we were confident that we could make this last day.  They promised to stay with me, so we had a plan, one pit stop at a time, slow and steady.  After all we had until 3:00pm to cross the finish line.  I smiled at the plan, but to be honest, I still wasn't sure I could do it.  I was sure I could make it to pit stop one, but that wasn't good enough.  I needed to find the courage and strength to make it the entire way. What to do?

We walked past the dedication tent where the music was playing softly.  We strolled in, there were several people inside.  Everyone had tears in their eyes.  I picked up a marker and started writing the names of everyone I knew who had died from AIDS and all the names of those who are living with this horrific disease - I wrote these names on banners that were to be displayed at closing ceremonies.  And as I wrote, I gathered strength.  And as 2500 riders road out, I felt their love, strength and energy. 

We had lunch along the pacific coast below Pepperdine University.  It was so beautiful.  The ocean breeze, the sun shining.  And I rode as strong as I ever had, all 67 miles.

This ride is not about what I can not do, but what WE (2500 riders and 500 roadies) did.  We raised 11.6 Million dollars.  We road 545 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles - not because we are quitters but because we are determined to make a difference.  For one week, I was part of a perfect world.  Where hatred and prejudice was eliminated.  One week of living in a community who loved and cared for their neighbors despite their petty differences.  No one care what you wore, what kind of car you drove, or if you hair was fitted up nice.  The only thing people seemed to really care about was helping one another make the 545 mile journey.  And what a journey.

Day 8 - I didn't sleep well, my bed was too soft.  I thought I would really enjoy a long, hot shower.  But it wasn't everything I had hoped for.  I thought I would really enjoy dinner with my family, and although it was nice - my entire family wasn't there.  I missed Allison, Kristen, Robin, Susan, Kevin, David, James, David, Mo, Ed, Brandon, Rick, Jerry, Heather, Eric, Jim, Paul, David, Peter, Eric, Beverly....the list goes on and on. 

Tomorrow I go back to work.  I'm back in the real world, and as I type this last blog, I wonder - what can I do (on a daily basis) to bring a bit of that prefect world that I was privileged to live, with me?  To all of those who rode ALC7, you are in my thoughts, my prayers, and in my heart.  Blessing to you all, until next time.

Love, Light and Laughter.

Shirley and Matt 

Red Dress Day - Day 5

I can hardly believe that we only have 2 more days. Yesterday I was so ready to go home, I was tired, sore, and mentally drained. After talking with several others, they were feeling the same way.  The veterans reassured us that our feelings would change. And boy did they. Most of the camp rises early, between 4:30 and 5:00. Today was a short day, only 47 miles, so many people slept in, but it wasn't the extra hour that made the big difference. 

It was watching the people emerge from their tents. Red Dress Day - from red jerseys to the most elaborate costumes you could imagine. I, along with the Orange County training team all wore red cheer leading costumes. Our outfits were conservative compared to some - sexy and stunning. I'll be posting the pictures TODAY! (Thank you Erik for letting me borrow your digital so that we could share this experience with everyone.) All of this was much needed for two reasons: 1. seeing all the costumes made you want to ride, it also made you smile and think of something other than your tired, aching body. 2. 47 miles means getting back in to camp early so there was more time to socialize.  There is also a shuttle that takes the riders and roadies into Lombac.  So you can enjoy the town and really relax. 

Although the ride was only 47 miles, it was a tough day. Hills, hills, hills and more hills. The wind was blowing and the hills were some of the toughest I have ever climbed. And not just one, or two, but three. And the third one was the longest. My legs burned in places they had never burnt in EVER. We rolled into a same town call Casmalia - the town had the bar-b-que fired up and the band playing.  Everyone was dancing in the streets and having a great time.  I hope someone from Casmalia reads this because I would love to thank them personally for make us feel so welcome. 

Back in camp I have had so many people thank me for sharing part of my story (night 3).  Seems just a few words from the heart made a huge difference.  Three people have told me they are going to sign up for ALC8 because they were inspired.  What an honor! 

Matt is having the time of his life. I have never seen him so comfortable and relaxed (and he doesn't even have a remote control in his hand...LOL). He has spoken to and met so many wonderful people. I roll in and he seems to know everyone by name.  He has really made a difference in the PosPeds tent and the dedication tent.  I'll take pictures and share them all later. Many people have shared part of their lives with him, and he is honored to be trusted with their stories. 

I have also made many new friends.  I hope that I will keep in touch with some of them - Allison, Kristen, Susan, Robin - thank you so much for sharing the road with me.  For insisting that I take my bike to the mechanic when I could not clip in or out.  Susan, for riding those last 40 plus miles with me on Day 2.  For spending a lazy day 3 - shopping and eating Burger King.  You three have truly made this ride special, I will never forget you. 

Tonight we took our PosPeds team photo and ended the evening with pizza. Matt and I were asked to be part of closing ceremonies. I can't believe yesterday I wanted to go home. Tonight I don't ever want this feeling to end. 

Tomorrow we ride - back to the grind 85 miles.  We'll be riding into Ventura.  I can't wait to ride through Santa Barbara, I know it's going to be beautiful.  And tomorrow night the candlelight vigil.  This experience is almost over...I can't believe it.  More to come tomorrow.

HUGS and KISSES -Shirley

Here is the text to the speech I read to all the participants Tuesday Night

Hello everyone –

What an amazing experience this has been.

I was diagnosed with HIV in 1998.  I remember when the doctor told me I was positive, like it was yesterday.  My entire being shut down.  I couldn’t hear, I could barely see (it was like looking through at sheet of water), and time stood still.  When I left the doctors office, I would have bet money that I was only in the examination room for 10 or 15 minutes – when in fact is was closer to two hours.

I still have no idea what was being said during that time. I had to sign a piece of paper and I could not even hold the pen. I was shaking so badly.  And I remember feeling very alone.  I didn’t know anyone else who was positive, I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to go on.  I wanted to hide under a rock.

It took me over one year to mustard up the courage to tell anyone that I was positive.  It took another year and a half before I was seeing any sort of light at the end of the tunnel.  On a happier note - five years later – a new woman emerged.

I was tired of feeling like a second hand citizen.  I was tired of being ashamed for making a mistake. (Sleeping with one person – who didn’t disclose their status to me, why should I spend the rest of my life in ridicule for that).  And I was tired of living a sheltered life.  I wanted to live, I wanted to feel and I wanted to be able to hold my head up high.  More importantly – I wanted my family (my children) to not be ashamed of me.

So I set out on my new quest.  I spoke out against HIV discrimination in the work place.  I spoke out to raise awareness in schools and colleges through out the Southern California area, I spoke out at fundraiser and I met other wonderful, loving, caring, HIV positive individuals.  I learned ‘sadly’ that I was not alone….not at all.

I’m riding for the 100’s of thousands who can’t.  Mostly I’m riding because I know first hand how this disease affects you and your entire being.  How can I turn my back on that?  None of us can…that’s why we are here.  Right?

In 1998, I was alone.  In 2002, 90% of the people I s ocialized with were positive, they provided me with support, courage, and knowledge.  In 2003, I started dating again.  I was determined that my disease would stop with me, so I would only date other who HIV positive.   In 2005, I married my HIV positive hubby.  I love you Matt, he’s a positive pedaler and a first time roadie…(point to matt).  And in 2008, I stand before you, to tell those of you that are still afraid to say you are positive that you are NOT alone.  You never be alone again.  That we are united in numbers, together we gather strength, and courage, and wisdom.

IF you comfortable, I like to invite everyone who is Positive to stand…stand with me and my fellow Positive Pedalers.  Let me applaud you!  And give yourselves a HUG, this ride is for you.

And now I would like to thank all those who are negative for continuing the fight to stay negative and all you endless support.

Day 4 - King City to Santa Maria

It's windy today.  Word on the road is the wind was so intense coming off the Evil Twins that even the most experienced riders were nervous and in fear of being blown over. But despite the winds, everyone seems to be doing very well.

I have a new appreciation for the roadies.  Man on man do they work HARD.  I met a man working on the gear and tent truck.  He was standing on the back of the truck loading up near 200 70lb gear bags and 200 tents.  I attempted to toss him my tent - needless to say I missed and I really enjoyed seeing him laugh.  Near the end of the day, the same gentleman was unloading the same 200 gear bags and tents.  I started to help him.  After a brief conversation, I learned that there is a mutual respect between roadies and riders.  As I ride I really appreciate all the long hours and hard work they do to pull this event off.  And this particular roadie really appreciated the fact the several riders stopped to lend him a helping hand.  It is amazing how much a simple smile and thank you can mean.  We are all very tired; but today makes the half way point.

I've talked to a few roadies today, it's amazing why they volunteer.  Many have said it is their way of giving back.  One man cried sharing with me that in his daily life (outside of ALC) he feels like he's too selfish.  So once a year he signs up to roadie.  He raises money and donates his time for the cause.  I had to hug this remarkable man.  This week can and will change your life - I hope forever.

Every night while dinner is being served, staff provides the daily news.  This consists of: safety report (how many people got tickets, or accidents), next day weather and road conditions and stuff like that.  Last night PosPeds had the honor of addressing the roadies, riders, and staff.  I was lucky to be asked to speak, representing the 270 HIV positive roadies and riders that are present for ALC7.  I was so nervous, but was able to deliver the PosPeds message - that we are a group of HIV positive individuals working to change the stigma that normally goes along with the disease. PosPeds members having the most loving hearts. The Board also gave out the very first 'Stand Up' Award.  This award was rewarded to Ginger Brewlay - for her exemplary service to the HIV community and to AIDS Life Cycle.  Ginger is instrumental at cheering the cyclists on.  She's always at the top of the most difficult hills - in her most glamorous dresses and wigs.  Many cyclists race to get to the top just to be sure to get a picture with Ginger.  (Ginger, Thank you for your great smiles and endless energy).

Day five is red dress day.  I can't wait to climb the day's hills and see all the wonderful men and women in their red dresses.  I also can't wait tell you all about it. 

HUGS and KISSES

Day 3 -

Today was a different type of day.  But lets begin with Matt's day.  Matt is really enjoying himself, as a matter of fact he is having the time of his life. He has met some great people and has learned that the pospeds individuals are one of a kind.  All have been supportive. 

My day started off, not so great.  I have learned one thing about myself.  When I'm tired I get really stupid.  The morning started at 5:00am, sleeping in 30 minutes really felt good after riding 105 miles the day before.  However I was rushing to get on the road.  (Lesson number 1 for the day - don't rush).  I ate way too fast and not enough.  I lost one of my water bottles and my sunglasses.  A very nice man name Bart loaned me a pair of his.  (Bart if you are reading this THANK YOU SO MUCH!)

Ten miles into the ride came the infamous Quad Buster.  And surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Let me tell you the best part.  The people!  Biker after biker after biker, it was a never ending trail of bikes.  Everyone was cheering everyone else on and when you reach the top....the celebration and cheering really began.  People you had never seen before were hugging you and patting you on the bad.  What a true sign of accomplishment.  And the riding down the other side was magical.

At mile 44, we road into a little town called Bradley.  All the school kids were out on the street to greet us, and they had a huge bar-b-que fired up. Come to find out this little town provided AIDS Life Cycle cyclist lunch every year.  A great cheese burger with all the fixins for $5.00.  This is the kids yearly fund raiser, and we (the cyclist and roadie that purchase lunch) have litterly bought the school new computers, books, art supplies, and much more.  How great is that?  A fund raiser within a fund raiser.

It was right after lunch that I learned lesson 2 for the day.  Too much electrolyte is NOT good.  I ended up in medical, and had to have an IV to pump some fluids into my body.  Now on the good side I met Steve (the RN).  In his real life, he works as a Trauma Nurse, he was the kindest person and very knowledgeable.  The medical unit is a fine tuned machine and they go to great lengths to make sure they take excellent care of those that cross their path.  No cutting corners - 100% top medical care.  And I must say the bus ride in was nice, complete with full service coach bus and air conditioning *smiles*.

This wasn't the way I would want to end my day - but it is nice to know that ALC has master the art of moving 3000 people down the coast of California.  Thank you to everyone, your hard work and support have not gone unnoticed. 

I'm looking forward to the nights activities.  Roadie talent show, I can't wait to tell you all about that.

HUGS and KISSES - Shirley and Matt

Day 2 - Santa Cruz to King City

My day started at 4:40am.  After a very quick breakfast for oatmeal and raisins, I rode out at 6:30 to begin my 105.4 mile ride.  Nervous - just a bit.  But after chatting with several folks who have done AIDS Life Cycle I discovered that instead of focusing one the 105 miles, focus on the next pit stop.  So that is what I did. 

We rode some of California's finest agriculture fields today.  Artichoke field, complete with road side artichoke stand.  Onion fields, ok those actually smell like fresh picked green onion and even a cactus field (who knew). 

During the first 45 miles I rode with this amazing couple, Kevin and David.  They have been together for 18 years.  Both had very kind and generous hearts.  After lunch I met a woman named Sue.  ALC7 is Sue second time doing the ride.  She had some wonderful stories - she told me about needing a change in her life.  And that is why she rode, celebrating her 40 birthday on the ride.  When I asked her if the ride meant her expectations, she replied with 'exceeded'. 

I couldn't agree with her more.  2 days into ACL I have met some wonderful people.  People who talk openly about their life's, and listen.  Compassion, generosity, and care seems to be the norm for all.

Well, needless to say after 100+ miles and over 11 hours on the road - I'm BEAT.  So it's off to bed, so I can get up and do it again tomorrow.  I promise to give a more detailed update tomorrow.

HUGS to all, Shirley

Matt's update to follow.........

Day 1 - San Francisco to Santa Cruz

Day 1 started at 4:00am for Matt and I.  We headed over to Cow Palace for Opening Ceremonies.  The convention center was filled with energy, and everyone seemed so happy and ready to ride and roadie. The best part was the riderless cyclist procession lead by PosPeds, I personally found it very moving.  Ok - yes I had tears in my eyes. 

Matt disappeared very quickly, as he had to meet up with the stage crew.  And I missed him the moment he walked away.  We've trained so very hard together and it seemed strange to be riding without him. 

Today we rode nearly 80 miles from San Francisco to Santa Cruz. I had idea there was so much beautiful scenery in that part of California.  We rode over Skyline and descended down this 2500 foot HILL - the trees were as green as I have ever seen.  We came around the bend to find ourselves looking out over a crystal glass lake.  I had to stop to take pictures.

Along the way I met a wonderful young woman.  She is 27 years old (just one year younger than my own daughter), and was diagnosed with HIV when she was 21 years old - she had been raped.  My heart went out to this young sole.  She and I shared over 50 miles together (and although we road in single file) I still learned much about her. 

Matt had his own story - he had the pleasure of talking with a woman at the PosPeds tent.  This woman so excited to have someone to share her story with.  She was diagnosed with HIV 10 years early at the age of 50.  She had gone through some emotionally draining times and found herself involved with a man who did not disclose his status.  She was still struggling to make since with her disease.

I share these stories with you because these amazing people are the reasons we, as rider and roadie, worked so hard to train and raise funds. 

I road into camp around 4:00pm - and met even more amazing people.  A beautiful couple from Texas, they were so happy be a part of this whole experience.  I wanted to stay and talk with them longer.  But it was my turn to get in the shower, and boy did I need it.

What have I learned over the past 12 hours?  I've learned that when you trust your body - it will pull through for you.  No matter how hard the hill.  And that when you give a piece of yourself to help someone else - good will come back to you.  (you see Leann, the young woman I shared those first 50 miles with) ended her day in medical. She was having chest pains, and trouble breathing. No worries - she's doing much better now).  I also learned that attire can truly make ones day. Some riders dress in bright ballerina dresses, or crazy helmet decorations.  And people cheering on the side of the road, truly does give you the motivation to ride, ride, ride.

I'm really tired, so I'm off for now. 
Day two...107 miles tomorrow, to King City.  HUGS

Shirley and Matt

Before Matt and Shirley met, their stories were pretty much them same.  Both diagnosed with HIV, both struggling to make sense of this terrible disease and both trying to find their places in society as HIV positive individuals.  When it came to disclosure; Shirley was more scared of what people thought, Matt more relaxed.  But they agreed on one thing - they were both tired of being alone.
They quickly became friends and a year and half later, Matt was down on one knee asking Shirley to be his wife. 

In October, Shirley signed up to ride AIDS/LifeCycle 7.  And it wasn't long before Matt signed up to be a Roadie.  Why - "well, AIDS has affected our lifes in so many ways.  We have both lost people due to this disease.  And we live it every day.  We live with the fear of wondering what would happen if Matt's boss found out he was positive.  Would they find a reason to fire him? We struggle with the medical care, medicines and side-effects.  And we are blessed.  Both of us are in fairly good health.  Matt has been positive for 15 years, I've been positive for 10.  ALC is an opportunity to give back, and to tell our community that HIV is still an issue. And of course to raise money to help other suffering from HIV.  Also, I'm involved for personal reasons, I'm not getting any younger and I'm ready to make a statement that nearly 50 doesn't mean nearly over.  *smiles*."